(Not) coming home for the Holidays

So. I'm sitting here in these arctic temperatures. I'm mildly amused today. I'm feeling funny and witty, although I doubt that it goes far beyond my own random mind. On to today's topic.

George is not coming home for Christmas.

Now I need to clarify, Canada is not George's home. But "they" say that 'home is where the heart is...' and I'm here in Canada, so isn't that where his heart is so meaning that this is home? Makes sense to me, although I'm the same girl who thought that beets were marinated turnips. Go figure. So George decided to go to San Diego for Christmas. It caused a huge fight and a wealth of crying on my part. I also won an oscar for my performance as the over-emotional, crazy, depressed, irrational princess wife. I cried for two days straight. I didn't go out, I didn't leave my bed really. All I could think is "why doesn't he want to see me? " and " he hasn't seen me in a year, what the fuck?" It doesn't help that those closest to me feel the need to only reinforce those ideas into my head..."obviously he doesn't want to see you" or "maybe if you weren't so fat he'd like to see you more" or " maybe he has someone else, it has been almost two years you know...". Now I am not the most sane person at the best of times. This has made me insane. I have started drinking coffee again because the depression takes my energy and makes me want to lay in my cold bed for the rest of my life. Although perhaps it is my dual personality that gets me back into the game by saying, "fuck that, I'm going out and getting drunk, and fight with him until he comes here." So that is what I did...kinda. We talked about it and it is the right choice for him to go to San Diego for the little time he has off. Getting to me is only worth it if you have a lot of days to spare, which he doesn't. I don't even live near an airport, closest one is five hours away...five hours on a very shitty highway. Besides that, immigration says that I should get to go home in January, so whats another month. It still hurts, and I don't think about it too much because I start feeling my eyes well up with tears...but thats life...take everyday and make it the best that you can. *smiles* We will have many more holidays to celebreate together.