Goodbye my old friend...

What do you do with friends who you don't really want to be friends with anymore? Do you go on pretending that you care? Do yuo have a huge blowout telling them that you can't be there anymore? Whats the deal anyways?

So I have this friend. He's a good friend, or was a good friend. We talk less and less which is cool, we're both super busy people. The problem is that when we do talk, he lies to me. He lies about his life and the news, he lies about things that are of no consequence to me. And we both know he is lying to me. I'm tired of playing the "oh really?" game. It makes me feel like he is insinuating that I'm stupid and not intelligent enough to realize that his words are nothing more than a weak facade to honey-glaze whats really going on.

I realize that it should be up to him to want to tell me the truth and that a good person would try to enable that to happen. Unfortunately that isn't the case here. I'm tired of dealing with it. I'm tired of trying to stay that good person.

To my friend:

We have known each other a long long time...stop lying to me. Stop pretending. Stop faking. If you don't want to discuss things with me, then don't, but don't lie about anything to me! Friends don't do that. Based on the lying, I cannot continue our friendship. I'm sure you understand because you yourself have had this problem in your life before with previous friends. I choose to keep people in my life who are genuine and who are important to me. Unfortunately you and I cannot continue down this path. I wish you nothing but the best with your life and future endevours and I will always remember the good times. Farewell and adieu.

k

Packing Nightmare

So here I am...putting off more packing. My room looks like it has been hit by a tornado. to be very honest, I don't really want to take anything. I just want to leave, get on a plane and worry about it later, but alas, I can't do that. So I'm taking everything that is my favourite here and that I need. EX: favourite clothes, shoes, makeup and hair products. But how does one decide that is their favourite as each piece has a place that needs other pieces to make the integration possible. For example, I have these great pink wedge heels. I bought them to look cute with jeans. I have never worn them but they are so cute and I want to take them but they take up alot of space. They match my pink LV handbag and this super cute tank top and sweater set. And those match with these great capri jeans that I'm about 10 pounds to fat to wear yet this season. So without everything, nothing works but I want to take it anyways. I have about a bazillion combinations just like this...so how to choose???

Mum. Mum is going to weed out the shit that I don't need. Thank god. Because I have no idea. So great.

I have to go through all my banking and personal papers too. Which I was going to do today but decided to leave until tomorrow. It is too much of a headache to deal with today.

So I'm having coffee and watching some obscure music video. The life and times of me are dramatic. Yes they are.

k

Baby Brain Train

Well hello again!

SO last night we had my going away dinner party at the Grill. It was really good although my anti-drinking thing went flying out the window and I had far too much red wine...again. Thankfully I didn't act a fool or anything like that but I definately don't feel so great today. Puked. Yep. Yuck. Couldn't even keep water down. Sick. I now remember why I don't want to drink anymore...so that was it.

9 more sleeps until I'm home with George. I can't wait, I hope that he is as excited as I am but just doesn't know how to show it. Guys are kinda like that. Last night I dreampt we were having a baby. We named her Zahara Lee Isabella Payumo. Sounds so nice. She had super bright green eyes and dark black hair. She couldn't stop smiling. And George couldn't stop staring at her as if he was shocked he could help make something so perfect. *smiles* I can't wait for that day. I just hope it happens at the right time, like not just before he heads out to Bahrain. I want him to be home and petting my belly as the baby grows. *smiles* Yes, I've got baby on the brain lately.

Anyways, I should run off, just trying to get back into the wonderful world of a blog. Trying to keep my mind free of drama...so I'll write here.

K

Vote Kelsey

Goodness...it has been a busy month for me.

Updates:

-Immigration finally approved me!
-Heading home to G in Texas on June 4th, 2006
-lost 16 pounds on a herbal clense
-quit my job

So to begin...after a whirlwind trip to see my cousin Kate look incredible and get married...Nicki and I were off to Vancouver for my immigration interview and medical exam. I could barely eat I was so worried. Corey came with us, thankfully because he kept Nick busy as I was too tired and stressed to entertain.

Off to my medical exam, had to be there by 6am. After having scans and tests and blood work, and x-rays, and filling out more and more and more paperwork. I was back at the hotel and in bed by 11am. I slept all day and was so worried and nervous about my immigration appointment.

I arrive at the US Consulate at 9:30am. I am greeted by a huge security guard who is directing us to stand in these weird Laybrinth designed ques. So...finally all of us there for spousal immigration are allowed in, one at a time, we have to get searched twice to get in the door. Then we are sent up two flights of stairs where more security meets us and searches us again, and then opens the elevator door and sends us up to the 20th floor. I get off and proceed in the almost darkness to another security check point...they search me, ask why I'm there, they ask for my paperwork, go through my purse, and search my body...I walk through three metal detectors and finally am allowed into the waiting room. I'm sent into this small room with chairs so uncomfortable. The room is blazing hot and there are no bathrooms or vending machines or even anywhere to get water. I visit with the others there to do the same thing as me. We're all pretty nervous. We have to sit in these chairs and are lined up against the wall so tightly that my knees were almost touching the wall and I'm short! and besides that, the cubicles were directly in front of the chairs so everyone in the room could hear exactly what they were saying to you. A really nice woman goes through my papers...and we talk a little, she makes me feel better...and then we proceed over to the cashier and wait to pay...the line up is around the corner and then the MOST UNHAPPY young person I've ever seen comes out. We wait to pay and he is the outmost MOST grouchy person. So finally I pay and then go back to wait for my acutal interview. Finally I am asked to proceed to window #5 and a super nice YOUNG east indian guy starts interviewing me...he askes me all kinds of questions...and then hands me back all my paperwork...and says, "Kelsey, your visa will be ready at 2pm for pickup." and thats it, I'm the proud owner of a K-3 visa...YAY!!!

So I go back at two and have been elated ever since.

Booked my ticket two days later, going home to G. FInally.

So I hope that everything is on par with my marriage. I mean, we're getting a hell of a lot better, but still, I feel like things aren't the way they used to be...so only time will tell I guess. I miss George so much but I sometimes feel like he could care less what is going on with me. I know that is my mind playing tricks on me but I just don't see him acting the same way he used to.

I'm definately going into therepy when I get home. I have alot of issues that need to be resolved before I can even begin to be the best wife and mother I can be. No I'm not pregnant or even wanting to be yet...but sometime...and sometime in the next couple of years. I'm getting really really ready.

Beyond that, my life couldn't be better...and although I'm unsure what career path I will pursue, I am confident that whatever I choose to do, I will achieve ultimate success...

if only I could be as positive about my love life...

12 more sleeps...