So I finally, four months after getting the email, looked at the gastric bypass page. I'm so scared. I am scared that I will go ahead with this surgery and ruin my life. I am also scared not to do this surgery and live my life unhealthy and unattracitve. Although it isn't about looks for me, I know that I'm fine now. I am not really sure how to feel about this. I realize that my weight is getting out of control but shouldn't I really deeply want to change it? Because I don't feel that way everyday. Some days, I'm all gung-ho, and other days, I'm totally against it. Do I have more than one personality? Perhaps. I don't know. If anyone reading this has any information that they'd like to pass on, please do!
In totally unrelated news, Hootie and the Blowfish have a new song out. Just the sound of his voice brings me back to grade eight. Hanging around the arcade, being silly but trying to be so mature. Life is funny. When I was that age I thought that by 20 my life would be planned and running smoothly. I kinda always knew I would move to the US...but I didn't think it would be like this. In all honestly, as far as George is concerned, my life is better than I had hoped at 13, but career wise I am a total failure to my youth. I had planned to graduate law school by 23. Here I am 24 years old and no law degree...no real job...not even living with my husband. I also thought that I would definately have kids by 25. I am so not ready yet although my biological clock is thundering inside me. Everytime I see a baby, I am almost in tears and I just look at my friends who have children around me and how together their lives seem. Maybe that's what I'm missing, just having my life together. I am such a mess. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I love doing makeup, and would love to be a makeup artist but when it comes down to it, I don't think it would be good enough for me to feel satisfied. That being said, I don't want an office job. I want a job that I love, that is always changing and that helps people. I really want to go into politics. I am good at public speaking. I have good ideas and strong ideals. I just don't know where to start. Blah blah blah. I am feeling that I am in a crossroads right now, I feel that I need to start making a choice. Even though I've been in a holding pattern for over a year due to this immigration nightmare...at least I think we're on the downward slope now. Or so I hope. Well I need to run off and do my laundry.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
The Weight Debate
Posted by Kelsey at 11:43 a.m.
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1 comments:
what about the Lap band? Is that an option? I know it's less invasive. Gastric bypass sounds so scary. Don't you have to chew your food to liquid once you can eat again. You know what sucks? Tricare won't pay for nutritionists. a friend of mine looked into it but they won't pay at all.
Don't feel bad about your life. I have akid and i still feel scattered. I mean, i'm trying to get a job at the post office! That's not what i went to college for at all.
Keep your chin up. I'm sure everything will be ok.
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